In an exclusive interview with Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, the Jager Gazette now confirms that Romney did in fact cut another student’s hair during a prank in High School.
Complete transcript of exchange between SirJager and Romney
Romney takes tough questions about hair
SirJager – “Did you cut that kids hair?”
Romney – “You want answers?”
SirJager – “I want the truth”
Romney – “You can’t handle the truth!”
pause…
Romney – “Son, we live in a world that has hair, and that hair has to be cut by men with good hair and scissors. Who’s gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Geraldo, and you curse Metallica. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know about lice and hair gels. That cutting that kids hair, while tragic, probably saved his hair. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves hair. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in a barber shop, you need me in a barber shop. We use words like feathering, blending, layering. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent cutting hair. You use them as a punchline in the Washington Post. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the scissors of the hair styles that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a pair of scissors, and get a barber post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.”
SirJager – “Did you cut that kids hair?”
Romney – “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!”
Mitt Romney explodes demonstrating how he cut hair in high school prank
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